Parents Need Help Too

Parents who have children with cancer are under tremendous strain. It is very easy for parents to become run down, exhausted, and feel very alone. Many parents say they were able to help their children because they were able to take care of themselves and accept help from others.

Parents often find that other parents of children with cancer are an important source of strength. Candlelighters is an international parents' organization with local groups at most children's cancer treatment centres. Candlelighters' aim is to support and educate parents. They have regular meetings and publish a newsletter. Many parents find Candlelighters a valuable resource to help them deal with their child's cancer. The name and phone number of a contact person for your local Candlelighters group is available from your nurse.

Although it may be very difficult to leave your child, a few hours away from the hospital (shopping, going for a walk, having a coffee) can be a tremendous relief. Exercise and eating regularly can also help parents stay on top of things. Many parents find that talking with their clergyman or with a social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist makes it easier to cope.

Friends and family members are often the most valuable source of help for you in your child's fight with cancer. Sometimes, parents do not wish to impose. However, friends and family usually want to help and can be a great support. They may not know what to do. Some may feel uncomfortable with your child's diagnosis. You may need to "break the ice" and talk to them about your child or suggest ways they can help. For example, they may be able to babysit, run errands, cook a meal, or sit with your child in hospital while you go for a walk.

Hospital volunteers may also provide help for parents. A volunteer can read or play with a child while you take a break